Hot! Not true but wish it was

The below are things not happening in 2013 but we wish were!

Ultimate Apprentice

The Ultimate Apprentice

The Ultimate Apprentice brings together an all star cast of the words leading businessmen and women in what is a clash of the titans. These world leading entrepreneurs pit themselves against each other in the same format challenges as the usual apprentice series, but this time they can call on the might of their companies and their contacts. Another change to the format is that the series will be filmed over 12 months to allow for the schedules of these busy moguls. All proceeds from the show are to go to charities chosen by the entrants.

 

 Lionel Messi in shock move to West Ham United

Messi HammerIn one of footballs biggest shocks of all time, Argentinian maestro Lionel Messi has astonishingly signed for West Ham United. It is alledged that Messi visited Upton Park back in August 2009 whilst on a business trip to the capital. It was during this time that he became addicted to the east end delicacy of Pie & Mash. This was after visiting a local establishment. His daily visit to Robins Pie & mash on green street for a traditional double double with liquor led to him paying for the cockney meal to be shipped to his home in spain 3 times a week. Because of this addiction he decided to buy out his own contract with Barcelona in order to relocate to the east end of London. He did look into opening a Pie & Mash shop on Las Ramblas in Barcelona but found it difficult to obtain supplies of eels which are used in making the traditional meal.

 

King Keith

Keith LemonKeith Lemon aka comedian Lee Francis, is to be crowned king of a small tribe from the south pacific island of Tanna. Keith’s ancestors visited the island in the late 1800’s as missionaries and ended up integrating into the Yaohnanen tribe. Keith’s bloodline is still evident in the tribe today and he is now next in line for the throne. Keith was unavailable for comment on whether he would be taking up the role.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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